How To Structure Your Days As A SAHM

I worked outside of the home before the twins were born.

I had four boys then – a 17 year old, a 14 year old, a ten year old and a two year old. Life was busy.

It was hard to manage work, their schedules, the house and sleep, all at once.

So when I found out I was pregnant with twins, I decided to stay home.  It just made sense.

On my salary, there was no way I could afford three little guys in daycare. And to be honest, I just didn’t think I could manage everything anymore.

[Read: Budgeting to Be a Stay at Home Mom: How Much Should I Save?]

It was time to stay home.

I was thrilled – I envisioned long, lazy, fun-filled days with the people I loved most.

But I was also scared.

This wasn’t the first time I was a stay-at-home-mom.

I had been a SAHM when my oldest was born.

And the days were long and brutal.

Entertaining a small little human being all day long was not exactly my idea of fun, no matter how rosie it looked from the outside.

But after the twins were born, I didn’t have time to worry about the tone of my days.

I didn’t have time to complete a thought.

I was in survival mode.

Quite literally. I reacted to one event or child need after another. All day long.

And it was exhausting.

[Read: How to Become a Stay at Home Mom: A Completely Honest Guide to Becoming a Sahm]

I went from managing 11 different programs to managing two infants and a toddler. The transition was brutal.

It is definitely harder to manage people – little, unreasonable, incredibly demanding people – than it is to manage anything within an office wall.

I would vomit all of my stress and anxiety on my husband as soon as he walked in the door.

Not a nice thing to do to the man you love.

But, being the wonderful man that he is, he listened to my ranting. And then, ever so gently, pointed out the obvious: You have three little kids home with you all day. Set yourself up like a daycare.

Now why didn’t I think of that?

Oh yeah, because I was in survival mode and incapable of finishing a complete sentence, much less a thought.

Thank you, dear hubby.

And that was all it took.

The structure of my days and my environment became just like that of a daycare’s.

It was easy for me; I used to be a daycare provider, in a past life. I also worked in a preschool for a year.

Suddenly I remembered I had experience!  I knew how to do this!

And so we went from simply reacting, in a stressed-out, survival-mode kind of way, to thriving, in a joyous, playful, had fun all day kind of way.

And so, if you find yourself in a similar situation fear not!

You can go from a haphazard, reactive, just trying to survive kind-of-day to a thriving, magnificent, I can’t believe it’s 5:00 already! kind of day. 

How To Structure Your Days As A SAHM

1. Set your values.

The first step is to know what you and your partner value. Why are you a SAHM? What is it you hope to get out of it? How does your partner envision your days? What do you hope to instill upon your children?

Are you a SAHM because you can’t afford daycare for your children? Because you want to spend time with your kids before they grow up and move away? Or do you plan on homeschooling your kids?

Understanding why you choose to be a SAHM in the first place will help you lay the foundation for your day-to-day activities.

Also discuss what it is you hope to get out of your days. What do you want your kids growing up to know? To remember?

Do you value education? If so, you are going to want to make that a priority in your day-to-day routine.

Do you value just hanging out and playing together? Then you are either going to want a lot of unstructured free time or you are going to want to set aside some time for playing and bonding.

Do you value reading? Crafting? Physical movement? Music? Faith? Maybe you value being involved in your community or visiting family and friends. Make sure you set aside time in your day for the things that you value most.

Your values will help you determine if your daily routine is going to be free and easy going, structured and educational, social and interactive, or somewhere in between.

2. Volunteer at a daycare or a preschool.

After you know what your values are, take some time to visit or volunteer at a daycare or a preschool.

If this is too hard to do, reach out to a childcare provider or a preschool teacher and explain your struggle. Ask for a copy of their weekly schedule and any imparting wisdom they may have.

But if you can, volunteer.

More than once.

This will give you a good sense of the rhythm of the day-to-day activity at a center.

And then model your home schedule after that.

3. Draft out a schedule and post it on the wall.

Create a sample weekly schedule and post it somewhere.

Be sure to set aside time for the basic necessities, such as meals, hygiene, naps, and clean-up duties.

Add in your core values – whether that be education, bonding, socialization, etc. You want to make sure they are priorities.

Then take a look at whatever time you have left over. How can you fill up that time? Can it be unstructured free time? Craft time? Music time? Field trip time?

Be sure you leave enough time in your schedule for the day-to-day management of a home.

You will need time to wash clothes, do the dishes, scrub the floors, clean the bathrooms and pay the bills. You will also need time for homework for older kids, extra-curricular activities, visiting family and friends, and running errands, getting groceries, etc.

Create a possible schedule and then try it out for a month. Tweak it as needed.

4. Set your house up like a daycare and purchase the correct supplies.

Does your baby have a proper place to sleep? Eat? Is there a playroom? A reading corner? A place for art and creativity? Play equipment outside?

Make sure you have the proper space for each activity you will be performing in your day-to-day routine.

If you are looking at focusing your days on education, be sure you have everything for that. Do you have books? Paper? Pens, pencils, worksheets, curriculum? Do you have a separate workstation for your educational activities?

If you want the majority of your day to be free play or time spent together, purchase the supplies needed for that – toys, both inside and out, crafts, books, games, etc.

Make sure everything has its place, and every activity has the proper setup. You need the appropriate supplies to manage your days as a SAHM, especially if you are focusing on a key area of Sahm-dom.

Kids respond well to structure and routine. If your daily routine has the same flow about it, day in and day out, your kids will know what to expect and when. They will know what comes next.

They will develop a sense of comfort, security, and belonging.

If your days are crazy and chaotic, your kids will never know what comes next.

They will always be uncomfortable and on edge. They will not know what to expect of their environment, of you, and of themselves.

Kids thrive with a regular, well-established routine.

And mommas do too.

It makes your day feel more manageable.

It helps you to feel more professional – you have skills and you know how to use them!

A structured daily routine, in whatever format you choose, leads to those fun, magical days at home with our kids that we all picture in our minds.

More on Sahm Schedules

Three Signs That You Need a Better SAHM Routine

12 Super Important Benefits to a Daily SAHM Routine

The Secret to a Great Stay-At-Home Mom Schedule

Wanna Create the Best Ever Stay at Home Mom Schedule? Here’s How!

How to Make the Best Stay-at-Home Moms Schedule With an Infant