You know your days are all messed up, momma, and you know you need a better daily routine. But exactly how do you create a daily SAHM routine?
It’s really not as hard as it sounds! The best way to create a daily SAHM routine is to break up your day into small little chunks. Then you simply do the same thing, in the same order, for each of those chunks! Every day.
Easy breezy right?!?
In this post, I’ll show you exactly how I broke my days up using time chunking – and how you can do the same! So, let’s get started, shall we?
Step One: Create a daily SAHM routine by breaking your day into three or four chunks
Little kids can’t tell time.
I know, right? Who’d have thought? 🤦🏻♀️
So, they cannot look at a clock like we do, and manage their day that way. We know that 8:00 is breakfast, 11:30 is lunch and 3:00 is snack time. But our little ones? They have no idea.
Kids break their days up by using events.
Things like breakfast, lunch, nap, when school lets out, when dad comes home…all of these things help a child to know what is next in his day.
And if there is no rhyme or reason to how these events unfold, it can be very confusing to the child.
If dad normally comes home right after snack time, then a child knows what comes next in the day. That might mean that soon it’s supper time. And after supper it’s time to do homework. Or take a bath. Or whatever.
But if dad always comes home right after snack time, and then one day he doesn’t get there until after supper…well, this can throw a child’s evening completely off! It’s like us, looking at the clock and thinking it’s four, when in fact it’s seven!
This is why routines are so important to children.
Our children naturally break up their day, based on the events of their day. If we do the same thing, in the same order, every day, then they come to know that they can rely on these events to navigate their day.
They can then “tell time” and know what to do and when.
What’s really cool is that we can use these natural events to chunk down the day and establish a routine for each portion of that day, helping our children to manage their days.
Use natural events to chunk down each section of your day
There are natural events that happen during your day that children will automatically attach significance to. So, it’s easy to use these events to chunk down your day.
For example, mealtime is a natural break in the daily activities. Breakfast breaks up the morning. You could therefore create a routine before breakfast, and a routine after breakfast.
Likewise, lunch and supper do the same. Use them to break up your afternoon and your evening. You could even chunk your afternoon down further, by using snack time as a natural break.
The key is to look for things that happen during the day that you can easily use as a way to transition from one routine to the next, or from one set of activities to the next.
Some other examples of events that make great breaks in your day, besides meal and snack times, are:
✸ nap time and bedtime
✸ bath time
✸ picking up or dropping off kids
Once you have identified the activities or events that you want to use to chunk down your day, then you need to create a routine for each chunk!
Step Two: Create a morning routine
If you want to create a daily SAHM routine, start with your morning. You can create a morning routine in one of two ways:
1. Count the entire morning, from the time the kids wake up until lunch time, as your morning routine.
2. Or, you can chunk it down further, using breakfast, a mid-morning nap, or a mid-morning snack as natural breaks in your day.
What you decide to do will depend on the ages of your children.
You will need to create a morning routine for each chunk of your morning, however.
For example, when the twins were little, I had a few natural breaks in my morning: breakfast and naptime.
My ‘before breakfast’ routine
I’d create a ‘before breakfast’ routine. This involved a lot of snuggling and cuddling. 😄 It’s also the time you use to start your day; you know – get dressed, brush your teeth, etc.
Soon after our morning routine, we’d have breakfast. And after breakfast, the kids played. This was my second chunk in the morning.
While they played, I’d clean up the house. You know, the best I could, because, of course, the twins were little. 😂 🤣 They couldn’t entertain themselves for very long, so what I got done was little to nothing. But it was enough to satisfy me.
Then we’d move into structured play – that time of the morning where I played with them. Since they were little, this was momma-led play. I’d engage them in all sorts of activities; rolling a ball, playing cars or trains, just sitting on the floor with a bunch of toys, or playing in the toy kitchen.
As they got older, we were able to shift into child-led activities, which means I let them tell me what they wanted to play. I also let them tell me the “rules” for how we played. I just followed along.
The morning would be broken up by a mid-morning nap. This was wonderful, because we snuggled again and read some stories. And then after the twins were tucked into bed, I could spend more time with their older brother.
My ‘mid-morning’ routine
We’d have some one-on-one playtime. This was, of course, child-led, because it was his time. 😃
After that mid-morning nap, we’d play again! 🤣 😂 If it was nice out in the winter, or if it was summer, we’d often go outside. If not, we’d have structured play inside; either child or momma-led.
As lunch neared, I’d leave the kids to unstructured play time, meaning they entertained themselves 🙄 while I made lunch.
And lunch ended our morning routine.
Routines change as kids change
My morning routine doesn’t look like that anymore, of course. After the twins no longer needed a morning nap, I stopped chunking my morning down so much. We moved from 3 morning chunks (before breakfast, mid-morning, and after a nap) to two (before breakfast and after breakfast).
Before breakfast stayed the same. But after breakfast, I was able to slowly add in more housework and other adult responsibilities.
The twins gradually learned how to entertain themselves, and as they did, it gave me more time to get my stuff done. So, our unstructured play time in the morning grew longer and longer.
When my chores were complete, we’d transition into structured play time. Sometimes this was child-led, but sometimes it was momma-led. And momma liked to do more ‘grown up’ things, like play board games, go outside, do crafts, or bake cookies. 🙄
So, I slowly started incorporating these things into our daily routine.
Step Three: Create an afternoon routine
Lunch and nap time are two natural breaks in the afternoon. Another one might be having to pick children up from school or other activities.
I always started with our ‘after lunch’ routine. Of course, if the kids could entertain themselves for a bit, I’d do the dishes while they had unstructured playtime.
Oftentimes, however, they were just too tired and crabby at this point. So, after lunch, we’d start our nap ritual.
Use afternoon naps as ‘mini’ routines
I believe nap and bedtime are both perfect times to create little mini routines or rituals. They are also fantastic times for bonding. So, we would often do the same thing, in the same order, every day at nap time.
Of course, as the kids got older, these little rituals would grow and change.
My activities varied during afternoon nap. The older brother, my little man R, napped as well, for a few years. While all three little ones napped, I picked up the house and did the dishes.
I also started blogging. 😆
My little man R. eventually outgrew naps, however, so then he’d move from nap time to “resting”. I’d often have him rest in my room so that he didn’t disturb his brothers.
And after he outgrew resting, then I’d spend some quiet time with him, or he’d spend some time doing what he loved – playing on his Kindle or watching a movie.
No matter what, our house was quiet during nap time.
Create a routine for after the nap is done
After naptime was over, our afternoon routine started. I usually fed the kids a snack, and then – you guessed it!
We’d have playtime. 😱
Yes, we played a lot. But, playing with my children is something I highly value. And as a SAHM, you want to be sure you prioritize the activities that you value the most.
This means that the activities you put into your daily schedule need to reflect your values and priorities as a SAHM.
Know your SAHM values and incorporate them into your daily schedule
I value play, so we play a lot. You may value education, and you may have chunks of time set aside for homeschooling. Or, you may value being active within your community, and you may have chunks of time scheduled out for volunteering, play dates or clubs.
The beauty of your SAHM schedule is that there is no right or wrong way to do it!! There is only the way that works best for you and your family.
So, my boys and I would usually go outside in the afternoon. ALL the time in the summer, and as much as we could in the winter.
During the school year, our late afternoon and early evening routines consisted of running to sporting events. The little boys have three older brothers, who were very involved in athletics. We’d constantly attend basketball and football games, and track meets in the spring.
You are a mom of little ones – you know how hard it is to get out of the house with them! 🤣 😂
The end of our afternoon routine would be signaled by these events. I’d have to stop playtime to pack up and get ready to go. During this time, the boys would again have unstructured playtime.
If we didn’t have to attend a sporting event (usually only on Wednesdays!) I’d make a home-cooked meal. So, this would signal the end of our afternoon routine.
Step Four: Create an evening routine
To create a daily SAHM routine, you definitely need an evening routine. This is one of the most crucial parts of your day.
If creating a routine doesn’t come easy to you – and believe me, I understand – then you should start slowly. And the best place to start is with the evening routine.
The evening is the easiest to create a routine around because there are a lot of “must-do” things that happen in the evening, such as supper, homework (for older kids), and baths.
Plus, most families are home during the evening.
I like to chunk my evening down into supper and after supper.
Create a supper ‘mini’ routine
Ok, so all moms value different things. And that is OK. And good. (It makes sure our kids all grow up into different human beings! LOL.)
Be sure to incorporate your family values into your evening routine
I value home-cooked meals as often as I can create them.
You might not. And that is okay.
So, when you are creating your supper routine, take into account what you value, as a family. Homecooked meals take a lot of time to prepare. Your time might be better spent in other areas.
And if that’s the case, you should find a fast, easy way to get supper on the table.
I can’t stress enough that your SAHM routine needs to reflect your values. If you try to set your day up to someone else’s standards, you are going to be miserable. You need to be true to who you are, as a mom and as a person.
Because I value homecooked meals, and because they take some time to create, that means I’m in the kitchen for a couple of hours. Our supper routine, then, would start around 4:30 or 5:00 in the afternoon, and end after the dishes were done, around 7:00 or 7:30 – depending on how the day rolls! 🤣 😂
When the twins were little, I did my best to occupy them during this time. Some days were quite stressful. Some flowed rather well.
As they got older, they were able to entertain themselves better, so they would, of course, have unstructured free play.
Dinnertime is a great time to teach older children responsibility and to spend time together as a family
If you can create little ‘mini’ routines around supper, it all goes better. For instance, it might be a great time to enlist older siblings to help out in the kitchen or to occupy younger siblings. Those moments might be good quality time together as siblings.
Or it might be a good time to pull out special crafts or activities, that your children only get to do during the supper hour.
Maybe your children are old enough to help with supper. Then it might be a good time for some mother-child bonding.
Try to eat dinner together as often as you can, as a family. Sit down around your family table. Avoid sitting in other areas of the house, such as the living room, or in front of a T.V.
Eating together as a family is a great way to build regular family bonding into your daily routine
After dinner, my big boys helped with the dishes. This was actually one of my favorite times of the day, because we’d talk about what was going on in their lives, or we’d play music and sing along.
Usually, my husband took the three little ones and played with them. This was their special time together.
Create an ‘after supper’ routine
Our after-supper routine varied, depending on the season.
If it was summer, we went outside. The evenings are beautiful here! We’d play in the yard, play a ball game, or throw rocks in the river. I absolutely loved this time of the day!!
During the school year, we have homework and bath routines. If there is time after the homework and baths are done, we come together as a family and play something.
Right now, this is usually a board game or Wii game. On occasion, we pull out a movie or watch a YouTube video, if my husband and I are tired.
And if we are incredibly exhausted, we sit on the couch with a good drink in hand, and film the boys dancing to snap chat video filters! 🤣 😂
Again, playing with our kids and spending time together as a family is extremely important to us. So, we make it a daily habit to come together as a family, in some way, shape or form, at the end of every day.
Create a ‘Mini’ routine around bedtime
The boys go to bed at 8:00 every night. And we have a whole big ritual surrounding bedtime.
What we do at bedtime has changed over the years, of course, as the boys have grown and changed. It often involves reading books, snuggling, and saying prayers.
When they were very little, I had elaborate displays of actually putting them into their beds – swooping them through the air and tossing them into their cribs. As they got older, we did crazy things, like “big kisses” and “eating my chin”.
These are just little things that they come to expect and find comfort in. They help to build a bond between us, and they offer love and security to my boys.
If creating a routine with your child seems daunting, bedtime is often a great place to start. You can easily create a little bedtime ritual. You just choose a few favorite activities, such as reading a book, singing a song, or saying a prayer, and do them, in the same order, in the same way every night.
The final step to creating your daily SAHM routine
The final step is to collapse into bed utterly exhausted, of course! 🤣 😂 J/K
After you get your kids to bed for the night, it’s time for you to do your own thing!!
This is the last chunk of the day, and it’s all yours.
You can do with it whatever you please.
Some good ideas may be to:
✸ spend some time with your older kids, if you have any
✸ spend some time with your husband
✸ spend some time picking up the house or preparing for tomorrow
✸ spend some time taking care of yourself, doing the things you love
And then you really do collapse into bed, utterly exhausted. 😃 But happy.
Because creating a daily routine will help you to kill the chaos and create the warm, fuzzy moments you have always dreamed of, as a stay-at-home mom.
To get started…
If you have no routine at all, you may want to choose just one area to get started with. I’d recommend the evening routine or a bedtime routine, simply because these are the easiest starting points.
If you already have somewhat of a routine or have some chunks in place, then it’s best to assess the routine you already have and figure out what needs improvement.
What’s working for you and what isn’t? What would really help your day flow better if you tweaked or changed it?
And then get started there.
So, there you go!! Happy scheduling!!
More on Sahm Schedules
How To Structure Your Days As A SAHM
The Secret to a Great Stay-At-Home Mom Schedule
Wanna Create the Best Ever Stay at Home Mom Schedule? Here’s How!
3 Quick Ways to the Perfect Stay-at-Home Mom Routine
Rockin’ the Sahm Life: Why You Need a Great Stay At Home Mom Schedule