Are you wondering how to be a stay-at-home mom on one income? Maybe you see all these moms staying home, and you would like to do that, too!
But you can’t help but wonder….how in the heck do they survive on just one income?!?
And more importantly….can you do it, too?
Well…I’m living proof that you can!! 😁
Trust me, momma….if a mom of six boys on a blue-collar salary can stay home, then so can you!
How to survive on one income as a stay-at-home mom
Being a stay-at-home mom isn’t necessarily about how much money you make. In fact, 34% of stay-at-home moms are living in poverty. Only 5% are well-off.
But, that means 61% are stuck in the middle and doing just fine! 😁
Let me guess: you aren’t rich, but you don’t exactly want to live in poverty, in order to stay home, either. 😂🤣
Yeah, I hear ya.
But I think it helps to remember that the federal government defines “poverty” as $27,750 per year for a family of four.
So, chances are, you wouldn’t be living in poverty.
Okay, you say. So, my husband makes more than $27, 750 a year. But how much does he need to make, for me to stay home?
Again, I say, it’s not about how much your husband makes. It’s about what you do with the money that counts.
But, if you want to know the breakdown, here’s what The Institute for Family Studies has to say:
“Close to half of mothers whose husbands earn $250,000 or higher a year (46%) are not in the labor force. On the other end of the income spectrum, 35% of mothers whose husbands make less than $25,000 a year are stay-at-home moms. Mothers married to husbands with an income between $50,000 and $75,000—the group that includes the median husband’s income of $60,000—are the least likely to stay at home; only 25% of them are out of the labor force.”
I’m gonna guess that you fall in that group where your hubby makes between $50,000 and $75,000…. And it seems nearly impossible for you to stay home.
Yeah, I hear ya. It’s like you’re caught between a rock and a hard place. Your husband makes a decent living…but it’s just not enough for you to give up your current income.
And keep your current lifestyle.
In order to survive being a stay-at-home mom financially, you need to change your lifestyle
That’s why I keep saying it’s not about how much your husband makes. Or how much you currently have saved.
It’s about what you do with the money that counts.
And what we do with money defines our lifestyle.
If you aren’t well off, then to stay home, you are going to have to change your current way of living. Because you will be moving from a two-income household to a single-income household.
So, unless you’ve been living well below your means all this time, and have some money in the bank, you will be making cuts to your monthly budget, to make ends meet.
It’s a choice you need to make.
Stay home with your babies, and be there, for the formative years of their life?
Or keep working, and keep living the way you always have?
How to downgrade your current lifestyle
The biggest change you need to make, to survive staying home, is to live not at – but below – your hubby’s income.
Let me just repeat that:
“The key to survive being a staying home mom financially is to live not at, but below your husband’s current income.”
Let’s face it; if you live at your husband’s income, that’s great! You’d be living within your means.
But you’d barely be making ends meet. You’d be living paycheck to paycheck. And you’d literally be one paycheck away from disaster if something horrible were to happen.
But if you live below your husband’s means, then you are no longer living paycheck to paycheck. Your husband is bringing home more money than what your daily living expenses are costing.
And you can tuck some money away for when disaster strikes.
Or to do something fun with.
Or both.
It’s easier said than done, though.
To live below your husband’s income, you may need to rethink a few things:
➢ Your housing costs. Housing should only cost 30% of your income – er, I mean, your husband’s income. So, if your husband brings home $50,000 a year, your combined housing expenses (mortgage, heat, utilities, etc) should cost no more than $15,000 a year, or $1250 a month. Less is even better.
➢ Your auto expenses. Your vehicle payments, repairs, etc should cost no more than 10% to 15% of your husband’s total income. This is about $5,000 to $7,500 a year, or $417 to $625 a month if your husband makes $50,000.
➢ Your food expenses. Your grocery expenses should also be only 10% to 15% of your husband’s take-home pay. That means you should only be spending between $417 and $625 a month on groceries.
➢ Your entertainment expenses. Again, you should be shooting for only 10% of your husband’s income going towards your family entertainment costs. So, think $400 a month, if your husband brings home $50,000 a year.
That leaves 20% to 30% of your husband’s take-home pay to put towards everything else. Things like cell phones, gas, clothing, medical care, savings, and anything else you may currently spend money on.
That’s not a lot of money. That’s only $830 to $1250 a month on everything else if your husband makes $50,000 a year.
And that’s living AT his current level of income.
Your job, as a sahm, is to live BELOW.
You may need to make some lifestyle changes
If you want to stay home, you may need to make some lifestyle changes, to make it happen.
This might include things like:
✔︎ moving to a more affordable home
✔︎ paying off or selling vehicles with high car payments
✔︎ forgoing weekend getaways, family vacations, etc
✔︎ changing the way you shop and eat
✔︎ changing the way you shop and dress
✔︎ changing what you do for fun
✔︎ drastically cutting expenses (which often means, going without…)
It sounds horrible, I know. It’s never fun to work so hard for something, like that beautiful house you are living in, only to downgrade. ☹️
But as SAHMs, these are often the choices we must make.
It just comes down to what you value more: your big, beautiful home, or being home with your children. 🤷🏻♀️
The choice is yours.
But, if you decide you do not want to give up your current lifestyle, to stay home, that is fine!! There are many moms who choose to work outside of the home.
To survive being a stay-at-home mom on one income, you also need to create a spending plan
If you don’t already have a spending plan, now is the time to create one.
Especially if you are still working and haven’t made that move home yet.
When creating your spending plan, you need to consider your current living expenses and your current income, and compare that against what you will need to cut your expenses down to, in order to live on just your husband’s income.
Here’s how I would do it if I were planning on staying home:
1. Add up all your current bills and known expenses.
Write down all your current bills and known expenses, such as your mortgage, phone bill, and utilities. Add up what you know you spend each month on everything, to get a good idea of your expenses.
2. Then track your expenses for a month or two.
Sometimes we just don’t know how much we spend on things, such as entertainment, groceries, or household items. Even if you think you know, you might be spending more. Or less.
So, to get a really good feel for what you are spending each month, write it down.
3. After a couple of months of tracking, determine your monthly expenses.
How much do you currently spend each month? Is it less than what your husband makes? If so, how much less? Can you get it even lower?
If it’s more than what your husband currently makes, what is that difference? That is what you will need to cut your expenses down, to live at your husband’s income level.
Of course, you will need to go down even further. The goal is to get below his current income.
4. Next, determine your spending percentages.
If you are spending more than your husband makes, you will need to see where the money is going.
Do you spend more than 30% on housing costs? More than 10% on entertainment? Then these are areas you know you need to cut.
When you start cutting, start there.
5. Then create a zero-dollar budget.
Use just your husband’s income and create a zero-dollar budget. Play around with the numbers until you’ve cut expenses and arrived at zero dollars.
If you don’t know how to do that, read this post: How to Create a Budget as a Stay-at-Home Mom.
Make the cuts realistically, in areas you honestly can survive making a few sacrifices in.
It does no good to, say, think you will survive off $400 a month for groceries because it looks good on paper when you feed a family of eight. 🤷🏻♀️
6. Finally, make the necessary lifestyle adjustments.
If you see that your budget will never balance, then it’s time to make some lifestyle adjustments.
It might mean moving to a more affordable house, getting a used (but paid for!) vehicle, or getting rid of overpriced cell phones.
Whatever it is, make those adjustments, and practice living on just your husband’s income for a while.
7. Practice, practice, practice.
Keep practicing and tweaking the numbers, cutting expenses, and playing around with it, until you arrive at a comfortable – and affordable – lifestyle.
If you are not currently staying home, running through this exercise will give you an excellent idea of whether you can handle staying home.
If you are already home, then this exercise might help you survive just a little bit better, financially. 😅
And finally, to survive being a stay-at-home mom, you must work together with your husband, as a team
Many stay-at-home moms feel financially dependent on their husbands. But you don’t have to!
You should never have to ask your husband for money. Your family is a team – a family unit. And you are part of that team.
You and your husband should work together, to create and stick to your spending plan. He is not in charge of the money, and neither are you. It is a shared position.
Just because you do not work outside of the home, and bring in your ‘own’ income, does not mean you are any less valuable than he is.
He does not get to make all the financial decisions, just like you do not get to make all the child-rearing decisions.
You two are in this together. And you need to work together.
If you are worried at all that your husband will demand control over the finances just because he is the one making the money, then I would dare suggest that staying home is not right for your family.
Creating a spending plan together will help you both to allocate the money to where it needs to go. If there are things that you will need money for, they should be part of the spending plan. And if there are things that he will need money for, they should also be a part of the spending plan.
Some couples give themselves discretionary funds, to use on whatever they see fit. She might use it to go shopping, to the spa, or to take the kids to McDonald’s. He might use his for bowling night, a new rifle, or to take the kids to a ball game.
But even the discretionary funds are still a part of the spending plan.
You can survive on one income as a stay-at-home mom, momma if you always work together as a team!
At the end of the day…
At the end of the day, momma, you must decide. To stay home, or not to stay home? That is the question.
Because it is entirely doable.
It’s just that you must choose: is staying home worth giving up your current lifestyle?
And if so, exactly how much of your current lifestyle would you have to give up?
Because to survive being a stay-at-home mom on one income, you must live at – or below, if at all possible – your husband’s income.
That is the key.
So, if you are willing to change your lifestyle, then the first step is to create a spending plan that will work for your family. Make sure it is realistic – that you’ll be able to stick to it.
And work together with your husband – this is a team effort, bringing you home. It’s not a solo gig. You both should be on the same page and agree on your spending plan.
If you can change your lifestyle, create – and stick to – a spending plan, and work together with your husband on managing your household finances, then you should be able to stay home with no troubles momma!!
You’ll not only survive being a stay-at-home mom on one income but thrive. 😁