Hey there, Momma! Are you sick and tired of fighting with your toddler to just.go.potty.in.the.big.potty.already?!? Does potty-training have you wishing for a glass of wine at ten in the morning? 🙋🏻♀️
What if I told you that it didn’t have to be that way?
That there is ONE EASY THING TO DO, that will make this all so.much.better?
Would you love me forever then? If I could tell you how to make potty-training easier on you – and your child?
Well, I can! Grab a glass of wine or a cup of coffee and let’s talk!! I’ll tell you my little secret to potty-training success.
Hi, 👋🏻 my name is Shannon, and I’ve potty-trained six children.
Yep, six.
Granted, they are all boys. I don’t know if boys are supposed to be easier or not. But I do know that boys still have plenty of accidents. They still refuse to be trained. And it still takes forever.
Ever hear of those ‘train your kids in a couple of days’ claims? What are your thoughts on that?
Those stories always crack me up! If you are reading this post, then you and I both know that training your kids in a couple of days is something that only happens in fairy tales… 😂 🤣
Or for some very amazing, rock-star supermoms.
Of which, I am not.
Potty training is a lifestyle change. Kids have to go from peeing in their pants whenever they want, to holding it until they can find a toilet.
Ever try to change your lifestyle? Break a habit?
It takes more than a couple of days!
So we are in this for the long haul mommas! And it ain’t easy! No sir-ee.
But it can be done. And I’m here to support you along the way – for the next few days, weeks, months….however long it takes. We are in this together Momma!
So pull up a chair, collapse on the couch, and refill your cup or glass, because things are about to get dirty. Quite Literally.
And since we are having that glass of wine, I thought I’d share some of my personal experiences with you first. 😁 Maybe you will see yourself in some of my own stories.
My Experiences With Potty-Training
I don’t remember much from potty training my boys, but there are a few instances that stand out in my mind. And you most likely will have your own horror stories to share, as well, when this is all done. 😂 😂
You’ll have to drop me a line and tell me all!
My oldest:
Now he was not easy to train. Maybe it was because we were young parents or maybe it was because he just wasn’t ready, I don’t know. It was years ago. I don’t remember having any big issues with training him (other than it just taking forever), but my husband did.
(I think I had more patience than my husband…. 😉)
My son must have been a bit stubborn on this particular day because I remember him refusing to pee. And my husband had had it. He lost it. He screamed at him and scared the living daylights out of him. And my poor baby peed.
And has been peeing ever since. 😱
My husband felt horrible. He literally scared the pee out of our boy.
Neither of us would ever recommend that strategy.
Luckily, he is a very well-adjusted young man now. I don’t think he remembers the incident, although we talk about it often. 😅 I think it traumatized us, as his parents, more than it necessarily did him.
That’s just it, Momma. No matter how stressful it gets, and how many mistakes you make, in the end, your baby will be potty-trained. He’s not going to go through life as an adult NOT using the toilet. 😆
And he will forgive you for the countless times you lose your patience during the whole process. He probably won’t even remember it.
My second oldest:
He was super easy to train. Maybe we learned the first time around, and we were more relaxed. Or maybe it helped, having a big brother who used the potty. Who knows? He trained quickly, lickety-split.
The only issue we had was that he refused to use public restrooms if they were dirty or stinky. 🤣 😂 And we all know public restrooms are ALWAYS dirty and stinky.
He would throw a big hissy fit and refuse to even go into the bathroom. And if we walked unsuspectingly into a smelly bathroom, he’d high tail it out of there and refuse to go. 🤣 😂
Looking back, it is quite hilarious. But at the time, I did not find it so funny.
So we always had issues away from home. But, we kept our patience and found ways to work through this. (Like finding another, less-smelly bathroom, or sending him into the men’s with dad….)
Luckily, he outgrew it and, I’m proud to say, he can use a bathroom anywhere! 😂 🤣 No matter how smelly.
See, Momma, all the crazy little quirks that totally stress your child out right now are only temporary. He will outgrow them. So just relax, don’t shame your baby, and try to find ways around whatever little obstacle it is that he might be facing, during this trying time.
My Third Child:
Oh, he was a struggle, let me tell you.
He got peeing down with no troubles. But pooping was another issue. He went in his underwear every.single.time.
Like, a smidgeon of peanutbuttery-ish goo in his underwear. And that was it. Nothing else.
Nothing in the toilet.
Thankfully, it was summer. Because I’d have to haul his underwear outside and hose it down before washing it. Repeatedly. Ten times a day.
It took a lot of work, but we finally figured out that it wasn’t his fault.
He was incredibly backed up. He hadn’t been pooping regularly for darn near a year. And we had no idea. The poor baby got constipated long before potty training when we switched from breastfed to formula-fed.
We had to work with a doctor to get him regular again. It took months, but at the end of it, he was trained with no problems!
Sometimes, there is more going on than meets the eye.
If you’ve been potty-training for a while now, and it just isn’t going anywhere, maybe you should consider talking to your doctor. Who knows? 🤷🏻♀️ There could be something going on that is entirely out of your child’s control.
My Fourth Baby:
Training was easy peasy. He wanted to be like his big brothers and use the potty. He didn’t want to be like his little brothers; a baby in a diaper.
The only trouble I ever remember having with him was that it was hard to drop everything and book it to the bathroom when we were out in public – I had two infants in tow!
And because of this, he had an accident one time right in the Walmart check-out lane.
They had to put my groceries on hold, close down the lane and clean up the mess. My little guy and I (and babies) ran to the bathroom to clean up. Was I embarrassed?
No. 🤣 😂
I simply told the cashier “sorry” and thought to myself, ‘Deal with it!’ I had bigger fish to fry.
Accidents happen, Momma. And there’s nothing you can do about it. No need to be embarrassed. I promise you, if it ever happens to you, you definitely are not the only one!
The Twins:
Ah yes, the twins. No issues, really, as long as we stayed home. They piddled everywhere, and I no longer had hardwood floors, so cleanup was a disaster. But they trained quickly.
(It’s good to expect a lot of accidents and messes, so just go with it. You can’t do much about it, so stock up on cleaning supplies…and wine. 😉 )
The only issue I ever had with them was……public restrooms. 😱
(Are you starting to see a pattern here?) 😂 🤣
Try squeezing three little boys and one big momma into a small public restroom!
Not fun. Not clean. Not recommended.
Moral of my story? Stay home when you are potty-training! It makes life so much easier!! 😂 🤣
No, that’s not the secret to potty-training your toddler. That’s just a quick little tip.
I have TONS of them.
The secret is this: to potty-train your toddler, you first have to train yourself.
Yep.
That’s it.
Were you expecting something mind-blowing?
Well, it is, really.
Because you have some mind-changing to do.
You can’t potty-train your child if you aren’t ready to be committed. This is something I have learned over the years.
Potty training is a huge commitment, and if you aren’t ready, you will not lead your child to the potty. Your child can’t be trained without your help and guidance.
So you need to be mentally, physically, and emotionally ready for the job.
You need staying power.
Because it is so much easier to quit and just put the diapers back on.
The Secret to Potty-Training Your Child: Prepare Yourself for the Job Ahead by Training Yourself First
1. The first thing you have to do is realize that this takes time.
Literally. It is a huge time commitment. We are talking weeks and months. But we are also taking time out of your day. You will be running to the bathroom literally every 20 to 30 minutes on a daily basis for about a month, maybe longer. So set your mind to be committed to the time it will take to accomplish this.
→ *Hint* Don’t plan anything big during this time. No big projects or commitments. THIS IS your big project.
2. Next, you need to teach yourself patience.
Because it’s going to take LOADS of it. Potty training is tough business. You need to be able to be patient with the process and know that you and your child will get there soon enough.
No one stays in diapers forever – it will happen. Trust me.
→ *Hint* Don’t start potty training until both you and your child are ready. If you don’t have the proper mindset and the patience for potty training, it is going to make training your child that much more difficult.
3. Decide that accidents happen and messes don’t matter. Before-hand.
That way, when they do happen (and they will), you will have been expecting them. It won’t come as a surprise and you won’t look at it as a setback. You just simply clean it up and move on.
→ *Hint* Prepare for accidents. Stock up on easy cleaning supplies. Plan to do a thorough house cleaning after your child is trained.
4. Change your schedule to accommodate the potty training.
No kidding. You will have many interruptions in your day – allow for them. You won’t be able to keep up on your daily routine. Potty training will become the most important task in your day – everything else will take second priority.
→ *Hint* Clear your schedule so that you can focus on only potty training. Move all important projects or tasks to the next month or two.
5. Keep a sense of humor.
This is messy business. If you can laugh about the mistakes and setbacks, it will make the whole process so much easier. There will be some good, funny potty-training stories to tell!
And you will have earned the right to tell them when you get through this ordeal, so keep your wits about you and laugh a time or two! It’ll lighten the mood and take the stress off of you and your child.
→ *Hint* Keep a positive, light-hearted attitude. Find something every day to laugh at.
6. Realize that this is your child’s work, not yours.
It is his job to do, not yours. This is his skill to learn. It is his success to celebrate. Your job is to teach and cheer.
If he is quickly and easily potty-trained, it doesn’t mean you are a rock star. 😂 🤣 It means he was ready. If he struggles, it doesn’t mean you suck. It means he’s not ready (or is having some other sort of issue).
Potty-training success or failure is not a reflection of you as a parent.
→ *Hint* Decide right now that you don’t own this. Your child does. Let all preconceived notions go and celebrate all successes as your child’s accomplishment, not your own.
7. Commit.
Once you start, don’t stop. It will be confusing to your child. See this through.
The last thing you want to do is start over at day one again. Rearrange your life and your mindset so that this is a priority.
→ *Hint* DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT make that commitment if you or your child is not ready. If you thought your child was ready, and it turned out that he was not, then it is definitely OK to quit. But DO NOT quit if your child is ready. YOU need to make it a priority once you start.
8. Lower your expectations.
If you think your child is going to master this with one or two attempts, you’d better think again. It is better to expect a lot of accidents. It will be a lot of work, a lot of trial and error.
Potty training will be easier on you both if you expect it to get off to a bumpy start. That way, you can be pleasantly surprised when things go well.
→ *Hint* Lowering your expectations will cause you to be more patient with your child. Patience is the golden snitch of potty training. Without it, you could emotionally harm your child.
And that’s it! A few changes to your routine, a few changes to your daily schedule, a nice little change in the way you think, and wha-la! You are ready to train your baby!
Training yourself is the hardest part. I promise.
It’s a brief lifestyle change for you, and lifestyle changes are never easy. But once you do it, it is done. Your child follows suit, and the rest is easy.
And then you can go back to your same old daily routine – minus the diaper changes!
Totally worth it!!
For more on potty training, check out these two posts – the next in The Potty-Training Know-How for Moms series:
How to Tell if Your Child is Ready to be Potty-Trained
Quick Hacks to Make Potty-Training Easier on Mom (and Child)
