Do you ever find yourself daydreaming about staying home with your little ones and being more present in their lives?
Are you fed up with the daily commute, long hours at work, and missing out on important milestones?
If these thoughts sound familiar, then you are not alone!
I have a friend who is contemplating staying home. She has a toddler, another on the way, and daycare is a NIGHTMARE.
Meaning there is no daycare in our area, and it’s super expensive. It’s going to cost her half her monthly salary!
When you think about things like that, plus the stress involved with working outside of the home, it can really make you want to stay home with your kiddos.
I decided to stay home when the twins were born, because daycare was going to cost more than half my current income. Plus the stress of trying to manage three little kids, three big boys, and a career…
Turned out to be a very tough decision. And one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.
BUT it was so worth it in the end!! I would go back and do it all again.
Only, I’d do it a little bit better the next go ‘round! 😅 I made a lot of mistakes, when I was making the leap to stay at home mom!!
Here’s what I’d do differently, momma, and what I strongly encourage you to consider, if you are thinking about staying home.
Take a good hard look at your finances
Before making any drastic moves, you need to make sure you can afford to stay home.
I know, I know, most people say that they can’t.
The truth is, you can.
But you have to change your lifestyle in order to do so.
Are you willing to make those changes?
Create an honest budget and analyze your actual expenses. Not what you *think* you can do. But what you can really do.
It helps if you start tracking your daily expenses, so that you can really see what you are spending each month.
My friend is “trying it out”, spending a few months living off of just her husband’s income.
It’s a great start, but it’s not entirely realistic, because they’ll still have all of the same expenses, but trying to manage them on one paycheck.
When you move home, you’ll actually have to cut expenses as well.
So, look for areas where you can cut back, such as dining out, cable bills, and clothing expenses.
If you have outstanding debts, focus on getting rid of them as soon as possible to reduce the financial strain.
You might have to make some drastic lifestyle changes, too, such as moving into a more affordable home or selling your car, so that you don’t have such huge payments.
Once you have a clear understanding of your financial situation, you can create a plan to save or earn additional income before you take the leap.
Explore alternative work options
Depending on what you do, you might be able to work from home or work out a flexible schedule with your employer. It never hurts to ask!
Or you might be able to start your own business and contract out your services, so that you can do what you are currently doing, but from home, for clients.
For example, if you are an accountant, contract out your services to online businesses. If you teach, consider teaching online, and if you are an administrative assistant, consider becoming a virtual assistant.
And if not, consider providing services or products that you can offer from home such as sewing, selling homemade crafts or offering freelance skills and writing services.
You don’t have to work or have a side gig as a sahm, momma, but it definitely helps!
The key is to be creative and find an income stream that aligns with your skills and interests.
Mentally prepare for the transition
Becoming a stay-at-home mom requires making significant adjustments, not only financially but also mentally and emotionally.
Like I said above, it’s one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, and most of that struggle was mental. 😉
As a stay at home mom, you’ll lose your identity. In our society, our self-worth is based on what we do. It’s a messed up system, to say the least. 🤣😂
But when you start answering, “What do you do?” with, “Oh, I just stay home…” 🤪 it’s hard on you!
So, you’ll no doubt have some identity issues to work through.
You’ll also have some new time management skills to learn. 😆 And you’ll have to work through the emotional trauma of someone literally always needing you.
Like, you never get any “down” time. Any time to yourself.
Plus, there’s the fact that you are no longer contributing to the family financially. So, there’s a sense of losing your independence and your feeling of self worth that you get from supporting the family and helping out. That can take a toll on you.
Many women struggle with how to handle the finances, because their spouse feels its “his” money, since he’s the one making it.
If you have a husband who tends to be a bit more controlling with the money the way it is, this might increase and become almost abusive-like when you stop working.
So, you need to look at your family dynamics and your relationship as well. Do you have a healthy financial relationship, as a couple?
What about your household relationship? Will your husband think that because you are now home, he doesn’t have to do anything when he comes home from work?
I’m in a stay at home moms facebook group, and these are common issues I see other sahms struggling with.
Join a sahm group, momma, before becoming a stay at home mom. Pay attention to all of the things the stay at home moms in that facebook group struggle with.
These are things you may be facing as well. You might as well go on the offensive and start making a plan for how you will deal with them!
Becoming a stay-at-home mom is a transition that requires planning, preparation, and support.
By exploring your financial situation, finding alternative work options or extra income streams and prioritizing your spending, you can make the dream of staying home with your children a reality.
Remember that the journey can be tough, but with determination and resilience, you can thrive and lead a fulfilling life as a stay-at-home mom.
