Hey there momma, are you struggling with the idea of becoming a stay-at-home mom? It’s not easy!
Everyone thinks stay-at-home moms just lounge around watching Netflix, eating bonbons, and drinking wine… but that’s far from the truth! I’ve been a SAHM for seven years now, and it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done.
It was tough, in the beginning, to make ends meet, manage the chaos, and still find personal fulfillment. But I wouldn’t trade it for the world. 💕
My boys are in school now, and I’m still a SAHM because being a mom is the most important thing I will ever do. And I want to do it right.
If that’s you too, then let’s talk about how to be a SAHM!
Key Points
You’re busy, momma, and there’s a lot to cover here! If you’re short on time but want this info, here’s the super short and sweet version:
- Deciding to Become a SAHM: It’s a personal choice, and it’s okay to feel a mix of emotions.
- Financial Planning: Living on one income can be tough. Budgeting and planning are key.
- Daily Routine: Plan your day with both child-centered activities and personal time.
- Support System: Build a network of family, friends, and other SAHMs for support and advice.
- Self-Care: Prioritize your mental and physical well-being. A happy mom means a happy home!
- Finding Purpose: Engage in hobbies, part-time work, or volunteering for personal fulfillment.
- Challenges: Expect moments of self-doubt and stress, but know it’s normal!!
- Cherish the Moments: Enjoy the joy and love from being with your kids during these precious years.
It isn’t easy, momma, but I know you can do it!
Let’s Talk About Why You Want to Stay Home
Before diving into the practicalities, reflect on your motivation for wanting to stay home. Every mom’s journey is unique, and understanding your “why” will anchor you through the challenges and triumphs ahead.
Whether it’s to witness precious milestones, create a nurturing environment, or manage your family’s daily life, your reason matters. Embracing your purpose will empower you and fuel your commitment on this rewarding path.
Why Do You Want to Be a Sahm?
First things first. It’s important to know why you want to be a sahm, momma.
Because when the going gets tough, that reason will keep you grounded and pushing on.
So, take a moment to think about why you want to be a stay-at-home mom. Write down your reasons and keep them visible for when you need that reminder.
I became a sahm because, with twins and a two-year-old, daycare wasn’t an option.
Other reasons you might become a SAHM include:
- More quality time with your children
- Provide stability and consistency
- Save money on childcare
- Pursue other passions while being available for your fam
Being a stay-at-home mom is one of the toughest yet most fulfilling roles. There will be joyful days and exhausting ones, but knowing your “why” will anchor you through it all.
The Pros and Cons of Being a Sahm
Being a stay-at-home mom has its own advantages and challenges. Understanding these can help you prepare for this life-changing decision!
Pros of Being a SAHM
- Quality Time: You get to spend more time with your little ones and witness their first words, steps, and other precious milestones.
- Consistent Routine: Offering a stable environment with a consistent routine can provide a sense of security for your kids.
- Personal Fulfillment: Being the one who is there for your kids is incredibly rewarding and very fulfilling.
- Flexibility: Enjoy more flexibility in managing your days, allowing for spontaneous activities and personalized learning opportunities.
- Cost Savings: Daycare can be crazy expensive, especially with multiple children.
I became a SAHM to save on daycare and because we couldn’t find one. But I stayed because I loved being home with my kids, even now when they are in school!
I like the flexibility of being a SAHM. When school is closed, someone is sick, or if there’s an appointment, I am readily available. No time off requests here!
Cons of Being a SAHM
For me, the hardest part of being a stay-at-home mom was the financial strain. Living off one income is tough, no doubt about it.
But another challenge was the loss of my identity. We’ll discuss that more later.
Other common challenges of becoming a SAHM include:
- Financial Strain: Switching from two incomes to one can be hard and may require budgeting adjustments.
- Social Isolation: Spending most of your time at home with the kids can lead to feelings of loneliness or isolation from the adult world.
- Career Impact: Taking time off from a career can create gaps in your resume, affecting future job opportunities.
- Emotional Toll: The role of a SAHM can be emotionally exhausting, dealing with daily demands without breaks.
- Lack of Personal Time: Finding time for yourself can be hard as family responsibilities take precedence.
These are just a few of the pros and cons, momma. You need to sit down and list them all out for yourself before deciding if this path is right for you.
What it Means to be a Sahm
Being a stay-at-home mom is an incredibly rewarding – but often challenging journey, filled with tons of responsibilities and unique experiences. It means dedicating your time, energy, and love to create a nurturing and supportive environment for you babies.
As a SAHM, you wear many hats—you are a caregiver, educator, chef, chauffeur, and emotional support system all rolled into one! But it allows you to be deeply involved in your child’s development and life.
Read: What is a Sahm Mom? Discover the Amazing Role of Stay at Home Moms!
Although it comes with its own set of challenges, such as managing household duties and dealing with feelings of isolation, being a sahm also offers opportunities for personal growth and deep, meaningful connections with your children.
Things to Think About Before You Decide
Before starting your stay-at-home mom journey, consider these key aspects:
Money and Sacrifices
Living on one income requires budgeting and prioritizing needs over wants. And it’s not easy, moma!
Planning meals, shopping smart, and cutting non-essential expenses help stretch your budget. It’s about resilience and creativity.
Finding Your Own Happiness
It’s very easy to get caught up in all of your responsibilities, and lose sight of yourself. Focus on your joy rather than what other people tell you you should do!
Engage in passions, hobbies, and personal growth. Balancing your happiness with your family’s needs creates a loving, fulfilling home.
Teach your children the value of self-care and living authentically momma!
Career Considerations
There’s no doubt staying home can impact long-term career goals. But you can use this time to gain new skills through volunteer work, part-time projects, or online courses.
You can easily find ways to keep your skills sharp and be ready for future opportunities!
Stay at Home Mom Myths
There are many myths and misconceptions about sahms, often leading to feelings of inadequacy or guilt, momma. You need to take these myths with a grain of salt, and recognize that each family’s situation is unique.
These myths can create unrealistic expectations and pressures, but remember that your choices are valid and meaningful.
By challenging these myths, you can find a path that works for you and your family.
Ignore societal judgment and stereotypes—let’s build a life that you love momma, not a life that others say you should love!
SAHM Stereotypes
- “Stay-at-home moms don’t work hard.” Managing a household and raising kids is a full-time job!!
- “Stay-at-home moms are unfulfilled.” Many sahms find immense satisfaction in caring for their families.
- “Stay-at-home moms aren’t educated or skilled.” Many have impressive qualifications and previous careers!
- “Stay-at-home moms have endless free time.” Caring for kids and a home often fills every minute of every day.
- “Stay-at-home moms are financially dependent.” Some sahms contribute to the family income by working side jobs or with careful budgeting.
- “Stay-at-home moms lose their professional edge.” Many sahms enhance their skills or take on freelance projects.
- “Stay-at-home moms are less ambitious.” Focusing on your fam is based on your personal values and priorities, and it certainly doesn’t mean you are less ambitious.
Staying home to care for the family is a demanding yet valuable role! Though unpaid, you are providing your kids with everything they need for a lifetime of love and success, momma.
Read: Redefining Work: The 24/7 Job of a Stay at Home Mom
Tips to Make the Transition Easier
Okay, momma, you’ve thought this all out. You listed out your reasons for becoming a stay at home parent, wrote out the pros and the cons, and considered what it means to be a sahm.
And you’ve decided you are ready to make the move home.
Congratulations!!
But, exactly how do you become a stay at home mom?
1. Learn to Live On One Income
The first thing every stay-at-home parent wants to know is: how do you afford to be a SAHM? The honest answer: you don’t.
Even if your husband earns $250,000 a year, it can still be tough. Why?
Because most people live at or above their means. It’s not about how much you make; it’s how you manage it.
If you want to be a stay-at-home mom, you’ll need to make lifestyle changes, and they aren’t always easy. When I chose to stay home, it was out of necessity with four kids and twins on the way.
I jumped right in without a real plan or a savings to fall back on!
Managing little kids all day is tough, and doing it while worrying about money is even harder. If you can prepare financially for staying home, do it!
Whether you have time to prepare or are just jumping in, though, there are a few things you’ll need to do, to make it easier on your wallet.
Cut Expenses
Start by tracking your spending for a few weeks. Write down where and how much you spend each time.
You’ll need to know what your current spending habits and expenses are, so that you can find areas to cut.
Next, add all your monthly bills and subscriptions to get a clear picture of your expenses. Figure out your current budget – and what it needs to be for you to stay home.
Then, start cutting unnecessary expenses. Be realistic about what you can cut, though, and make it doable. If you currently spend $1,000 a month on grocery shopping, chances are you won’t be able to survive on just $400!
If you need help, check out these posts:
Simple Ways for Busy Moms to Effectively Track Their Spending
How to Create a Budget as a Stay-at-Home Mom
How to Be a Stay at Home Mom On One Income – And Still Survive
Save As Much As Possible
After you cut expenses, you need to start building a little nest egg, too. You’ll need this for when times get tough.
Saving money can be challenging, but picking up a side gig and saving that income can make a big difference. And if you cut expenses, you can put that money into savings.
My son wanted to be a stay at home parent, so he and his wife practiced living off of one income for a few months, before he made the decision. It’s smart to start cutting expenses now to understand the impact—it might sting a bit.
But after a month or two, you’ll know if you’re ready to commit!
If you need help getting started, check out these posts:
Spend Too Much on Groceries? Here’s How to Save Money On Groceries
Frugal Living Tips 101: Ways to Save Money for Beginners
Big Family, Small Budget: 125 Extreme Frugal Living Ideas
Pay Off Debt
And finally, pay off all of your debt momma!!
I know paying off debt isn’t easy. And you may need to make temporary budget cuts, so that you can use that money to pay down your debt.
Any windfalls, reimbursements, or extra income should go toward debt as well. You might even want to start a side gig, so that you can pay off debt.
Use your savings, if you have one, consolidate debt, or use your 401K when leaving your job – to pay down debt. Extra expenses and debt will strain your budget as a stay-at-home mom!!
Read: 4 Debt Reduction Strategies: How Will You Crush Your Debt? (One I wrote for It’s All You, Boo.)
2. Make Money From Home
If your budget doesn’t balance despite cutting expenses, consider picking up a side gig. Many SAHMs enjoy having a side gig because it gives them something of their own to pursue outside motherhood.
Despite what some articles claim, quickly making millions from a side gig is unrealistic. If it were that easy, everyone would be doing it – and everyone would be rich. 😂🤣
Making money as a SAHM is hard and is not for the faint-hearted momma! You have many options, but not all are feasible given your responsibilities.
And, despite what they say about passive income, pursuing a side gig is never just “part-time”. To succeed, you must treat it like a business and put in a lot of work without immediate pay.
But it’s totally doable!!
Remember, persistence is key. Many mompreneurs want to quit (myself included!) but giving up won’t get you to that finish line.
If you are serious about starting a side gig, then read these posts:
25 Lucrative Part Time Stay at Home Mom Jobs for Work-Life Balance
19 Exciting Online Business Ideas: How to Make Money as a Stay at Home Mom
3. Establish Boundaries and Take Care of Yourself
Boundaries are crucial for balancing responsibilities and avoiding overwhelm. Carving out time for yourself ensures productivity and sanity, allowing you to give your best to your family while also caring for yourself.
Sahms juggle so many roles, and teamwork is essential. Dads should help out whenever they can, particularly in bedtime routines and weekend chores.
Clear roles and responsibilities lighten the load and foster a balanced home environment. So don’t hesitate to ask for help from your husband, family, or other mom friends.
If they’re not nearby, connect with local mom groups or online communities. Professional resources like babysitters or house cleaners can also be invaluable.
Your well-being is key to your family’s happiness. My mom always used to say “If Momma Ain’t Happy, Ain’t Nobody Happy!”
And it’s so true.
Taking time for yourself benefits everyone around you!
Here are some tips to find more personal time:
– Early mornings: Use this time to exercise, read, or enjoy a coffee.
– Late nights: Dedicate time for hobbies or quiet moments with your spouse.
– Hire a babysitter: Pamper yourself if you can afford it.
– Family help: Ask grandma or daddy for some alone time.
– Nap time: Use your kids’ naps for activities you enjoy.
– Extended breaks: Take a little extra time in the bathroom or shower.
Taking small moments for yourself can significantly boost your emotional health and resilience. Don’t give up your passions and dreams momma!
Pursuing hobbies like painting, gardening, or dancing is crucial for your mental and emotional health. It helps maintain a sense of self beyond motherhood, refreshing you and making you feel more balanced and fulfilled.
Your happiness matters just as much as your family’s, and nurturing your passions enhances everyone’s quality of life.
How to Prepare for Tough Times Ahead
Becoming a SAHM requires mental toughness, momma! It’s no walk in the park, let me tell you!
Over time, though, I learned skills to manage my days better and to focus on my own mental health. I discovered that I can make it through anything!
And so can you.
Here’s how:
- Use gratitude: Focus on being thankful for every little thing to reduce stress and improve your outlook!
- Listen to Christian Rock: Uplifting music can improve your mood and motivate you, regardless of your religious beliefs.
- Get rid of negative thoughts: Flip negative thoughts into positive ones to change your perspective and improve your mindset.
- Start running: Exercise, especially running, helps burn off stress and releases feel-good chemicals.
Incorporating these strategies can profoundly impact your resilience and overall well-being, making even the toughest days a bit more manageable.
You’ve got this, momma!
How to Handle Loneliness
Being a stay-at-home mom can be rewarding but also so lonely. Spending most of your day with little ones, without adult interaction, can lead to isolation.
It’s okay to seek out connections and know that you’re not alone in this journey.
Joining local parenting groups or mom clubs is a great way to meet other moms. Participating in local library story hours, community centers, or church groups can also help you build a supportive network.
Making time for meaningful conversations with your husband also helps, because then you both feel heard and supported. Nurturing your relationship is so important, for a stable, loving home environment for your children.
How to Deal with a Loss of Identity
In 2021, I decided to read the entire Bible. And it changed my entire life.
I went through an identity crisis after deciding to stay home, as many moms do.
But reading the Bible helped me to understand myself and my purpose. It totally transformed how I live and how I parent.
The Bible is the best self-help book on the market! Even if you aren’t Christian, you should check it out!
After reading it, I discovered my true identity – and it has absolutely nothing to do with what I do for a living!
If you want to make staying home easier, my top tip is to read the Bible!! It provides clarity and purpose.
How to Find Balance in it All
Juggling all the different roles that come with being a stay-at-home mom is no small feat. I often feel like I suck at keeping the house, working from home, and spending time with my kids.
But I’ve learned that not every moment has to be perfect, and we are allowed to have off days! Finding balance is a continuous journey that requires self-compassion and a willingness to adapt.
Some days, you’ll excel in nurturing emotional bonds with your children, while other days your focus might shift to household chores or personal care. And that’s okay!
The key is to embrace flexibility, knowing that balance doesn’t mean giving 100% to every role all the time, but rather finding harmony over time. Give yourself grace and remember that your needs are just as important your family’s.
Understand that no one is perfect, and striving for perfection can lead to burnout. You are remarkable, momma; trust that you’re doing your best, and that is more than enough.
Are You Ready to Be a Stay at Home Mom? Take the Quiz!
Ready to find out if you’re prepared to become a stay-at-home mom? Take our quick and easy quiz to assess your readiness!
Discover if you’re financially, emotionally, and practically prepared for this exciting journey. Click the link below to start the quiz and get personalized feedback to help you make an informed decision.
At the End of the Day…
At the end of the day, choosing to stay home has been one of the most amazing decisions I’ve made. It comes with challenges, but it’s also so rewarding.
By focusing on my family and nurturing my children, I believe I’m contributing to a better world. Change starts at home, and as moms, we have the privilege of shaping the next generation.
Our children are our future, and the love and guidance we provide will create a positive impact. Every story we read, hug we give, and lesson we teach are the building blocks of a brighter future.
Hold on to those precious moments, momma. You’re doing a tremendous job.
Be proud of the love and dedication you give your family every day. Believe in yourself and know you’re raising amazing human beings who will make a big difference.
You are capable, you are strong, and you are doing great, momma! Keep shining. 💕
More on Being a Stay at Home Mom
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