We’ve all done it – screamed at our child in a moment of frustration. Even if we weren’t yelling, we’ve said some damaging things, such as “Because I told you so, that’s why!”, and “Well, when you are the dad then you get to make the rules!”, or my personal favorite, “Stop crying or I will give you something to cry about!”
These statements are more harmful than good. They do nothing to help a child work through whatever was the issue in the first place, but instead, they give an ultimatum: I am right, you are wrong, end of story. They also undermine any discipline you will provide down the road.
It is almost painfully obvious that the best style of parenting is authoritative parenting.
But what if we are a long way from being an authoritative parent? What if our parenting style mimics permissive parenting? What if we relate to authoritarian parenting, and bark orders at our children like a drill-sergeant, rather than a loving momma?
It is not easy to parent. It is self-sacrificing. It is time-consuming. It is repetitive. It is exhausting. Continue reading
It’s the first week of a new year – 2017. This is the time when we often find ourselves making goals or resolutions….we look for ways to make this year even better than the last. So how about improving your parenting style?
Your parenting style affects your relationship with your child.
To make good goals or resolutions in your parenting, you first have to know how you have parented in the past. What did you do well? What do you need to do better? And how can you get from where you are at to where you want to be, as a parent?
The best thing a person can do to be a better parent is to focus on personal development.
Lisa Firestone, Ph.D, explains in Psychology Today, “So much of the information out there about how to be a better parent focuses on techniques for modifying your child’s behavior. But it is missing the mark. Research has shown that the one thing a person can do to be a better parent is to focus on developing him or herself. This is where a person has to start in order to be a nurturing, attuned mother or father. When it comes to parenting, there are many reasons for us to look inward and understand ourselves as people if our goal is to become a better parent.”