Having trouble finding gifts for that special boy in your life?
Fret no more!
I have complied a list of Classic Toys to Encourage Bonding With Boys.
This Christmas, be sure to give your son a gift that you can use, together, throughout the entire new year.
This Thanksgiving, as we gather around the table and give our thanks for the many blessings in our lives, let’s not forget our children.
We work hard, day in and day out, and day in again, to raise our children.
We give everything we have towards bringing them up right.
We lay down the laws.
We set the curfews.
We kiss the boo-boos.
We tuck them in at night.
We laugh and grieve and complain about it all together, as moms.
But truth be told, not one of us would have it any other way.
We love our children.
And we are thankful for them. Every day. Continue reading
Power struggles. We’ve all been there – the dreaded no. Toddlers are famous for it. Preschoolers like to try out the “I Hate You!” Middle Schoolers might threaten to run away, or tell you that Suzie’s mom is way better than you are. And teenagers will just walk out the door. But how do we avoid a power struggle?
They all do it.
Kids at every age will continuously question your authority and test their independence.
It is absolutely normal and something that we want our kids to be doing. It is how they grow and develop in to an adult.
But as the child tries to pull away and the parents try to maintain control, the process can be anything but smooth. The screaming, fighting and tantrums that may follow can be exhausting and hurtful for all parties involved.
How can you avoid a power struggle and still help your child develop his or her independence?
Building a better relationship with your child can seem daunting. But it doesn’t need to be. There are 20 easy things you can do every day to show your child you love him or her.
You don’t need a degree in child psychology or a Positive Parenting Course. You don’t even need to know your parenting style, preferred discipline technique or routines you want to establish.
All you need to get started is love.
The rest comes easy.
Remember when you were courting your spouse?
Remember those days? You thought about him (or her) all of the time. I know you couldn’t wait to see him, or hear his voice. Everything he gave you was treasured, no matter how small. You hung on his every word and got shivers up and down your spine every time his skin accidentally brushed against yours.
(Well, okay, that was maybe infatuation.)
Love your child in the same way.
Think about him all of the time. Greet her with exuberance when she comes home from practice, letting her know that you are happy to see her. Hang on his every word, and treasure every picture made. And when you get a hug, snuggle or kiss, hang on for dear life. Because that affection dies off quickly as they get older.
It’s that easy.
But just in case you need a nudge to get you started, here are 20 easy things you can do every day to show your child you love him or her.
Seven Steps to Bonding with Your Baby
Your little bundle of joy has finally arrived! You look at him, lovingly, as he snoozes in his little bassinette, oblivious to the world around him. You notice his sweet breathing patterns, the little baby noises he makes, his cute little cheeks, adorable little dimples, perfect little lips. Your heart swells with love.
But you can’t help but wonder….
I remember that very same feeling, when my husband and I brought our oldest home from the hospital. He was asleep, wrapped in a blanket on the living room floor. My husband was stretched out in front of him, face propped in his hands, just admiring his brand new son. He looks over at me with a goofy smile on his face and says “Now what?”
Now what indeed!
Parenting starts the same way nearly every adventure begins….by building a relationship.
We don’t know how it happens.
But somehow, our bouncy little boys or sweet little princesses grow up.
And grow away.
How do we go from being their whole wide world one minute, to barely being allowed in to it the next?
It’s a hard pill to swallow. But it is normal and natural; in fact, we want our kids to move away from us and create lives of their own. It is what they are supposed to do. (If you are still their whole wide world at age 17, then Houston, we have a problem…)
Still, we need to stay involved in their lives, not only for supervision and guidance, but also because we love our children, and want a (gulp!) adult relationship with them in a year or two.
So how do we step back in to their worlds, after being gone for so long?
Technology, particularly computers, cell phones and social media, has taken the “personal” out of inter-personal relationships.
It makes listening, particularly listening to your child, hard.
It’s hardly arguable that folks are more comfortable posting their thoughts on FaceBook or Twitter than they are in holding an actual conversation with another person, face to face. It is far easier to quick send a text, tweet or message than it is to carve out time for coffee and a personal visit. It can be argued that in today’s culture, people are losing the ability to be social.
As parents, we may have seen evidence of this in today’s teens. How many times do we hear “Teenagers today! They have no respect!”
In fact, you can take the phrase ‘teenagers today’ and end it with almost anything –
‘they have no boundaries!’ ‘
they don’t know what hard work is!’
‘they have no idea!’
We hear it time and time again…..”Mommy, plaaaay with meeee……”
I can give you seven reasons to play with your child.
But it’s hard to remember those reasons while you are washing the dishes, doing the laundry, making supper or scrubbing toilets.
It’s hard to remember seven reasons to play with your child while you are helping another child with homework or preparing to leave the house.
And it is especially hard to remember seven reasons to play with your child when you first come home, after a long day of work.
There is always a million other things – grown-up things – that need to get done. The chore list never ends. In this crazy, busy lifestyle we all have, there is little precious time to pay the bills or change the oil on the car. So when we hear those four innocent little words, “Mommy play with me,” we cringe.
We’ve all done it – screamed at our child in a moment of frustration. Even if we weren’t yelling, we’ve said some damaging things, such as “Because I told you so, that’s why!”, and “Well, when you are the dad then you get to make the rules!”, or my personal favorite, “Stop crying or I will give you something to cry about!”
These statements are more harmful than good. They do nothing to help a child work through whatever was the issue in the first place, but instead, they give an ultimatum: I am right, you are wrong, end of story. They also undermine any discipline you will provide down the road.
It is almost painfully obvious that the best style of parenting is authoritative parenting.
But what if we are a long way from being an authoritative parent? What if our parenting style mimics permissive parenting? What if we relate to authoritarian parenting, and bark orders at our children like a drill-sergeant, rather than a loving momma?
It is not easy to parent. It is self-sacrificing. It is time-consuming. It is repetitive. It is exhausting. Continue reading
It’s the first week of a new year – 2017. This is the time when we often find ourselves making goals or resolutions….we look for ways to make this year even better than the last. So how about improving your parenting style?
Your parenting style affects your relationship with your child.
To make good goals or resolutions in your parenting, you first have to know how you have parented in the past. What did you do well? What do you need to do better? And how can you get from where you are at to where you want to be, as a parent?
The best thing a person can do to be a better parent is to focus on personal development.
Lisa Firestone, Ph.D, explains in Psychology Today, “So much of the information out there about how to be a better parent focuses on techniques for modifying your child’s behavior. But it is missing the mark. Research has shown that the one thing a person can do to be a better parent is to focus on developing him or herself. This is where a person has to start in order to be a nurturing, attuned mother or father. When it comes to parenting, there are many reasons for us to look inward and understand ourselves as people if our goal is to become a better parent.”